What movies have not aged well?

-Two words. Mickey Rooney.

-What was with the over-acting of the French guy Mayday kills in the Eiffel Tower? Been watching too much Allo Allo?

Live and Let Die

J.K. Rowling said that 65% of people in Britain are transgender. Where did she come up with that statistic?

Dr No

From Russia With Love

-The comedy French taxi driver, also over-acting. Someone doesn’t like the French…

Why don't we hear our own snoring?

-”She is very sexyful!”

-All the bad guys are black.

The Living Daylights & Rambo III

Do countries with free health care generally have co-pays or deductibles to discourage use?

-”That should keep you in curry…” said to an Indian agent.

-Tracy’s father having uh…interesting ideas about what a happy marriage should be. Hell, he punches her out at one point.

-Bond getting rough with Miss Anders, and slapping her. Christ!

What is it that gives a man who is a submissive cock sucker his most pleasure?

Octopussy

Diamonds Are Forever

-”Ah so!”

Why do people with trauma easily recognize other people with trauma through eye contact?

-Comedy gay hitmen Mr Wint and Mr Kidd

-”Why do Chinese girls taste different to all other girls?”

-Bond disguised as a Japanese fisher looks exactly like - Sean Connery wearing a bad wig.

My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for 5 years. Why won't he divorce her? Should this be a deal breaker?

-Bond tricks the virginal Miss Solitaire into having sex with him.

You Only Live Twice

-Bond getting slaphappy again, this time with Tiffany Case.

What great song was "ruined" once you really listened to the lyrics?

-Bond slapping Tracy.

-J W Pepper

Goldfinger

What would be the lowest score with 9 strikes and no gutter balls?

-Bond forcing himself on Pussy.

-Note how the next couple of ones were ….well…as grounded in reality as you can be with Bond.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Why do I feel bad when I see white girls dating black guys, am I racist?

The Man with the Golden Gun

-In the second half of Daylights, Bond gets aid from Afghan guerrillas. Rambo III is set against the same backdrop of the Soviets’ campaign in Afghanistan, getting help from the brave, starry-eyed, bold, freedom-loving peasant patriots against the cruel rapey Russians, and it even ends with a dedication to the mudjaheddin.

-Choo Me? Hai Fat?

What was your wildest experience as a lesbian?

Moonraker

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

A View to a Kill

How can I stop drinking?

-Bond slaps Tania pretty hard, and gets rough with her when he tries to get her to confess what her orders were.

-Bond’s idea of placating Goodnight after being forced to hide in the cupboard all night while he’s making out with Miss Anders is to tell her that her time will come soon…

-”Quarrel. Fetch my shoes!”

Can you write a short story with a twist ending?